eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
