I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
