He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
