Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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