The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
