So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
