you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I wish life had little blips of pornography
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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