Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
