I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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