There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
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If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
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Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.