and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
