BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
