She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
