I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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