omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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