i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
