I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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