Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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