Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
