im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I am mentally ready for anal.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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