We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.