Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier