Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.