Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect