Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
