so that wasnt chicken after all
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
