Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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