Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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