My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
