I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
