She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
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Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
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We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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