whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
