My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
