i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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