I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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