Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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