what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
