I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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