So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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