i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
