Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
