woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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