I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
