i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
