sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
