I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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