If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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