you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
