What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
4 words: hood of his car
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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