im about as happy as oj after his trial
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize