Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
