hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
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