i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize