Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Someone shattered a urinal.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
