I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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