He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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