I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
